Apaches to Albania?

Don't Count On It!

4/4/99

Dollar Bill claims he has agreed to send
Apache helicopter gun-ships to Albania.

If true, it would give NATO the ability to directly
attack Serb troops and tanks in Yugoslavia.

Clinton is trying to diffuse growing anger over
the  idiotic pace of the NATO strikes.

He also claims the Multiple Launch Rocket System
will be deployed in Macedonia.

It's short- and medium-range missiles can get
through the bad weather preventing many
NATO aircraft from reaching their targets.

NSA Sandy "I sell weapons to China" Berger
confirmed that Clinton 1st received a request
for the Apaches over a week ago from
NATO's supreme allied commander,
U.S. Army Gen. Wesley Clark.

Berger didn't  say how many
Apaches will be sent to Albanian.

The # of  U.S. troops needed to support the helicopter
and rocket operations was also not mentioned.

It will almost certainly take over 2,000 American
soldiers on the ground just outside Yugoslavia.
 
Berger, appeared on CBS, and said the Apaches can
``do considerable damage to the Serb forces in Kosovo.''
(Which probably explains why they still aren't being used.
Dollar Bill wants America to cry about the refugees
so they will support the ground war.)

He also claimed cruise missile and bomb attacks
this weekend reached Serb military targets
in downtown Belgrade for the 1st time.

Attacks will not  let up until Milosevic agrees
to halt fighting against ethnic Albanians,
pulls back his forces and allows the Kosovars to return
under a self-rule plan that he has so far rejected.
(Good luck!)

Dollar Bill continued to rule out
using U.S. ground forces in Kosovo,
despite criticism by members of Congress and
military experts that the option should be kept open.
(He wants it to look like he was
pressured into, it in case disaster results.)

``Fighting village to village, there would be thousands of casualties.
We do not believe it is necessary to achieve our objectives,"
claimed Sandy.

The Day's Other Headlines Included:

- Clinton Claims No Target Is Off-Limits:
Then Continues Slow Pace

- Refugee Crisis  Allegedly Worries Clinton,
Who Continues Slow Reaction To The Crisis

- Clinton Claims Aircraft Carrier Is On The Way

Apaches Still Not Ready

Update 4/7/99

The Wash. Times ran a nice little graphic
of an Apache and it's vital statistics.

NATO claims it will soon see combat,
aggressively knocking out armored vehicles.

Albania has agreed to allow them on their territory,
and they should be ready in about 1 week.

(That means they are at least 3 weeks late,
to fulfill the alleged objective.)

Make That 30 Days

4/10/99

The Pentagon has announced that it will be about
1 month until the Apaches become ready for combat.

The military claims it is swamped by the refugee crisis
and doesn't have the resources to
deal w/ the Apache deployment.

Welcome to NATO!

Make That 23 Apaches

Late April

One of the Apaches sent to Albania crashes.

Both pilots managed to live.

The crash was caught on film,
as it apparently auto-rotated,
after an engine malfunction,
then exploded.

ABC's Nightline had a camera crew on the scene.

Two Die

Two pilots die when their Apache crashes.

Media fails to mention that helicopters suck.

The 1st casualties of the latest
Dollar Bill campaign finance scheme,
their families received the usual condolences.

May 15

Media is still reporting on the Pentagon stall
over deploying the Apaches.

A marsh was purposely chosen for the airfield
to ensure a delay as it was prepared for use.

Dollar Bill personally ordered
the environmental destruction,
to make sure his approval rating wasn't
damaged by the sight of dead pilots.

May 25

Still no Apaches.

Epilogue
They never were deployed.

In final proof that the whole campaign was B.S.
the Apaches flew in full-force to escort
NATO forces into Kosovo after
the 'peace' agreement was signed.

2 were used to escort Dollar Bill when he visited
the refugees to warn that his land mines are dangerous.

The 1st announcement was just an effort
to buy time and appear to be taking action.

Apache |  Kosovo

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